#19「消えたパスポート」

公開日: : 最終更新日:2016/02/15 ネタ話

kubinaga
あの事件が起きたのは、1998年の夏の終わりだ。僕の短い人生で何番目かにエキサイティングな出来事だった。

今から8年前の9月、僕はバンコクの空の下にいた。

アジア特有のへばりつくような暑さが、重力のように身体にかぶさっていた。そんなバンコクの小さな安宿で、旅先で知り合った友人2人と、チェンマイへ行く計画をしていたんだ。

タイ北部の田舎町で暮らす不思議な民族、首長族に会うために。

友人が言った。

「チェンマイへいくなら、電車にしようか?」

だが、僕は夜行のバスで行くことを主張した。
世界中のバックパッカー(バックを背負って旅する人)が集まる、カオサン通りの旅行代理店で僕は見つけたんだ。豪華2階建てのチェンマイ行きの夜行バスを。しかも電車で行くよりもそれは、はるかに安かった。

その夜が訪れた。
大型のゴージャスな2階建てのバス。日本人の旅行者は僕たち3人だけだ。
ヨーロッパからのバックパーカー達もたくさん乗り込んで、チェンマイ行きの夜行バスは出発した。

スーツを着た添乗員のサービスもよく、コーヒー、コーラ、お茶などを次から次へと出してくれる。

「やっぱり、このバスにして正解だっだね。こんなにサービスしてくれるとこなんて、そうそうないよ。」

僕は得意げに鼻をならした。

「普通、バスだと狭くてなかなか寝れないけど、この座席はリクライニングもあって、よく寝れそうだね。」

言葉通り、その晩は予想以上によく寝れた。

そして、事件は翌日の朝に起きたんだ

「マイ!パスポート!ノー!!ノー!!」

そのバカでかい声に僕らは無理矢理、起こされた。
後部座席のフランス人らしき男が物凄い剣幕で怒鳴り散らしている。
下手くそな英語から判断するとどうやら、寝ている間にパスポートを盗まれたらしい。

「本当にバカなフランス人だ。考えてもみろ!ここは危険発信地帯のアジアだぞ!貴重品くらい厳重に管理してないお前が悪いんだ。」
このまぬけなフランス人の危険察知アンテナは、どうやら精度が低いらしい。

「その点、俺みたいにバックの奥の方にしまっておけば心配ないのに..。」

頭の上にある荷物置きのリュックサックにしまっておいた貴重品袋を、騒々しい声を耳にしながら、僕も念のため探した。

貴重品袋は確かにそこにあった。

「ほーら大丈夫。」

と僕は貴重品袋のファスナーをゆっくりとあけた。

僕の脳がグラリと揺れた
無い!パスポートがない!

自分の目を疑った。
間違いなくここにあるはずの自分のエンジ色のパスポートが無い!!

それから数十分後、僕はパトカーに乗っていた。英語の下手くそなフランス人と仲良く一緒に。

タイの警察へ行って事情徴収をされた。
フランス人の男は相変わらず凄い剣幕で怒りを警察にぶつけいる。
そんな様子を警察の関係者らしき男が写真を撮っている。
僕はその様子に逆にしらけていた。
なんとかなるだろうと冷めた態度をとっていたんだ。

警察をあとにして、僕は安宿に着いた。
その晩、僕ら3人は晩飯を食べに繁華街へと出かけた。すると、偶然そこに今朝のフランス人が歩いてきた。その顔には同一人物とは思えないほどの、はじけるような笑顔があふれていた。

「ヘイ!ルック!ディス ニューズペーパー!!」

男は蛇みたいにクネクネしたタイ語が連なる現地の新聞を、嬉しそうに手にしていた。

なっなんと、今朝の事件が新聞の一面に乗っている。

しかも

警察で怒鳴りちらしているフランス人の男がデカデカと映っているではないか!

つまりあの写真を撮っていた男は警察の関係者ではなく、新聞記者のカメラマンだったんだ。僕はその紙面の中に自分の姿を探した。隅々まで、目を走らせた。
いない。完全に自分の姿は、見切れている。

「やったぜ!いい土産ができた。ハッハッハッ!」

男は自慢をするだけして、スキップしながら去っていった。
その時初めて、僕の体内にどうしようもないほどの、怒りが込み上げてきた。

「クソー!俺も一緒に騒いでおくんだった!!」

だってタイの新聞に載ることなんて人生でそうそうないよ。
おそらく生涯、最初で最後のチヤンス。
一生の記念となる特上のネタだったのに!

翌日僕はタイの日本領事館に行って、日本に帰ることだけが認められる、渡国証明書というものを発行してもらった。
そして数日後なんとか帰国することが出来た。

それから数日後….。
僕はなにげなく立ち寄った本屋で「地球の歩き方 タイ編」をなんとなく眺めていた。そして、そこにあった文章が僕の眼球を、これ以上開けられないほど大きくさせた。

※タイではお店の人が出した飲み物は絶対に飲んではいけません。その中に睡眠薬が入っていることがよくあります。

「俺のことじゃねーかー!!!」

つまりあのサービスで出された飲み物の中に睡眠薬が入っていたんだ。
運転手もグルになり、乗客が全員寝たことを見計らって、バスの添乗員が旅行者の荷物からパスポートを盗んだのだ。

偽造パスポートを作るためにタイでは高く売れるらしい。
パスポートの顔写真だけをすり替えられた、もう1人のシノベマサタカがこの世に存在するわけだ。

いつかアジアの旅先で、タイ語を話すもう1人の僕に偶然出会えたら面白いだろうなぁ。そんな日がいつか訪れることを僕は待っている。

首長族のように首を長くして。


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